Get OUT of Our Minds!
by CrystalSlashlover
Summary: Harry has been feeling odd as of late, his mind always seeming to revolve around Malfoy. The reason is obvious, but he won't accept it. So, some people decide to drive him insane by casting a song charm on the school! Better summary inside! First HP fic!
1. Kiss The Boy

Summary: Harry's been feeling odd as of late

**Summary:** Harry's been feeling odd as of late. He can't seem to get his mind off Malfoy his arch rival and main loathing besides Voldemort. He finds himself staring at him often or feeling eager for their next fight. But, it's not like he _likes_ him or anything, and he's not gay! Some people see it differently, and they want to drive Harry insane with putting a spell on everyone until he breaks down and realizes the truth!.

**Main Pairing:** Harry/Draco

Kiss The Boy

I groaned as I tossed and turned in bed, trying in vain to get to sleep before it was time to get up. But it was impossible! I mean, you'd be forced to stay awake too if evil pictures of a gorgy Malfoy kept flashing in your head. Wait! Did I just think 'gorgy'?! Ew! No way! Malfoy is such a prick! I bet he's sending me these pictures and put a spell on me to distract me from quidditch!

"Oh look! I think he's wakin' up!" I heard a woman say by my ear.

"No duh Sherlock. OW! Don't hit me!" I heard another whine.

"You deserved it pudgy!"

"Girls! Stop! We don't want to make a bad impression!"

I cracked open an eye wearily. "Whothere?" I mumbled. I blinked both of my eyes open and stared at what I saw. What the fuck? Why are three little women sitting on my stomach in beige Greecian dresses? Or are they Egyptian…? Oh well who cares? There's still the matter of the small women on my stomach!

The plump one smiled at me. "Hey sugar! You finally woke up. We were just about to give up." She said, toying with her ponytail.

The skinny and tall one glared at the plump one. "We would not! We would have stayed! But you might have left!" she ended, smirking.

The tallest sighed and shook her head. "I'm sorry for my sisters. They quarrel all the time."

Harry stared at them blurrily for a moment, reached for his glasses, put them on, and yelled, "WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU AND WHY ARE YOU IN MY ROOM?!"

The women glared at me. "Language!" the plump one scolded. "And to answer your question, we're three of the muses." She said proudly.

I blinked. Muses… wait… "Aren't you from that muggle cartoon movie of Hercules?" I asked uncomfortably.

They all nodded. "You bet!" said the skinny and tall one.

"Then shouldn't you be getting back to it?" I asked tiredly. I just want to go back to sleep! Why?! This is all Malfoy's fault I bet!

The tallest one smiled at me. "No. We need to help you!"

I stared at them for a moment, pulled out my wand, cast a banishing spell, and got up to start my day.

"What problem? All they help out with is love and shite. And I don't have any love problems." I said with conviction as I stepped into the shower.

As I stepped in and turned on the water, I became aware that someone was staring at me. I looked around quickly, but saw no one. "What the hell? I hope those freaky muses left!" I said in irritation. "But, no time to go all angsty emo! I need to get to class!"

I chatted with Ron about quidditch as we waited for Snape. He's such a greasy old git… and greasy too. Did I mention greasy? I let my eyes roam as Ron started to talk about food and how he'd wished he had gotten up earlier so he could've eaten.

I spotted Malfoy talking to Zabini quietly. His petal pink lips delicately formed words I couldn't hear; his face, almost as pale as the moon, flawless; luscious hair, he had stopped wearing gel, that I just wanted to run my hands through. Mmm… just thinking about it-

"Harry? Harry!?"

"Huh?" I blinked and looked back at Ron and Hermione, who both looked worried.

"Are you alright mate? You went all zony for a second." Ron said, poking me in the chest.

I shook me head to clear it, and then nodded. "Yeah Ron, I'm fine." What the fuck was I doing anyway? Staring at Malfoy? I should be glaring! Yes, that's right! I should be glaring at the prick! Not sighing over him!

Snape billowed in like the greasy git/bat he is, that evilly… evil glare on his face.

"Today class, you will make potions of your own choice. So be grateful. The pairings are, Granger/Parkinson. Zabini/Weasley. Crabb/Goyle…" and on, and on he went. I sighed in frustration and slumped in my seat.

"… And finally, Malfoy/Potter. Get to work."

I groaned. Malfoy? Again? Why is it me to always be paired with him?! I stood up and dragged my way to Draco's desk and sat down in the chair next to him.

Draco smirked a sexy-no! evil smirk. "Hey Potty, got your knickers in a knot?" he insulted.

I glared at him. "And what's wrong with you? That time of the month?" Oh! Burn! I am so awesome!

Draco scoffed. "Whatever Potty. Your jokes are too lame to affect me. Anyway, we're going to be making a _Pepperup Potion_. Go grab the ingredients Potty." He snapped, then began to get the necessary tools out.

I rolled my eyes and went to the cupboard to get the necessary materials, then returned to find Malfoy was waiting with everything ready. Without a word, he reached out his hand for the first ingredient. I gave it to him and sighed.

It went on like that for a minute. By that time I was bored. My eyes roamed aimlessly, scanning Malfoy. He looked like he was concentrating pretty hard, thin eyebrows furrowed as he read out of the book that held the directions, molten silver eyes scanning the page, and lips pursed slightly. Merlin those lips looked good… What am I saying!? I'm a boy and so is he! He's Malfoy! It's not like I want to kiss him!

_**Percussion…**_

Huh?

_**Strings…**_

What the hell?

_**Winds…**_

What's going on?

_**Words…**_

'_**Dere, you see him,**_

_**Sitting 'dere across 'de way**_

What the fuck? Why does this sound oddly like that song from the Little Mermaid? I look down at the table when I realize that the music and lyrics are coming from down there. I think my eyes bulged when I saw fucking Sebastian pointing with a claw at Malfoy.

_**He don't got a lot to say,**_

_**But 'dere's someting about him**_

Erm… I'm feeling really uncomfortable right now. Why is that character here? And why is he singing to me? Wait… why is he pointing at Malfoy? And what does he mean 'there's something about him'? There's nothing about Malfoy except hate and evilness-ness… ness…

_**And you don't know why,**_

_**But you're dying to try **_

_**You wanna kiss 'de boy**_

"Did you hear something?" I asked Malfoy. He looked at me like I was insane, and then shook his head, after taking the next ingredient. I whip my head up and look around the class. Why isn't anyone noticing the crab? Everyone's working, not even looking up. What the hell? And- Wait a minute! Did he just say I wanna kiss the boy?! What the fuck!? I don't want to kiss Malfoy!

_**Yes, you want him**_

_**Look at him you know you do**_

I glared down at the crab. Didn't I just think that, no, I didn't want to kiss him!? And in what way would I want him?! … Maybe for a romp- NO! Gah! The crab is getting to me!

_**Possible he wants you too**_

_**There is one way to ask him**_

I blink at that. Could Malfoy want me? I look over at him and gulp. Wait! If he wants, me then I don't want him! I'm not gay! I mean… I'll admit he's cute… in a non platonic way that is. More like a… gossip fact. Yeah! But… his lips looked so perfect… Maybe…

_**It don't take a word**_

_**Not a single word**_

Maybe… maybe just a peck… I leaned forward, my brain feeling like mush.

_**Go on and kiss the boy**_

I blinked, and then pulled back. What was I thinking?! Damn you Sebastian! You're using me like the fucking prince in the movie! Does this mean he uses magic?! I looked down at the crab and saw him looking frustrated. Serves him right! He then smiled slyly and ordered, "Sing with me now."

My eye twitched when _more_ small creatures appeared on the table. Shit!

_**Sha-la-la-la-la-la**_

Ho-kay! The other animals are the background singers. Greeeeat. Just great.

_**My oh my!**_

_**Looks like the guy's too shy**_

_**He aint gonna kiss the boy**_

Hey! I'm not shy! I'll have you know it takes tons of nerve to play quidditch in front of thousands of people! Just… I'm not gay! Why are you torturing me like this?! Why!

_**Sha-la-la-la-la-la**_

_**Aint that sad?**_

Oh yeah?! Well how sad do you think it will be when you're smashed into this fucking bloody table you soon to be sushi roll!

_**It's such a shame, too bad**_

_**He aint gonna kiss the boy**_

Well of course not! I looked over at Malfoy and sigh. "Um, Malfoy?"

He looks up at me with a 'What the fuck do you want' look.

"I know this is really out of character but… I feel pretty bad about not at least earning _some_ of the grade. Let me guess the next ingredient."

Malfoy raises an elegant brow in challenge.

"Hmm… let's see… Is it… toe of troll?" I asked.

Malfoy got this disgusted look on his face and shook his head.

I chuckled slightly. "Oo-kay no. +**heh**+ How about… Persian Snake Venom?"

Malfoy shakes his head with a 'Are you an idiot' look on his face.

"Umm… Is it… sugar?" I suggested.

Malfoy looked bored and ticked off at the same time; he looked away from me and to the book.

"Unicorn hair." I looked down to see a slightly ticked off Sebastian whispering that to me. "A strand of Unicorn hair."

I look off to the side unsurely. "Unicorn hair…" I murmured, and then said a little louder, looking at Malfoy. "Unicorn hair?"

Malfoy's head snapped up and he blinked in surprise, and then nodded slowly.

I blinked in astonishment. "Unicorn hair? I got it right?"

Malfoy nodded, and smirked at me, adding unicorn hair to the cauldron.

I stared at him, transfixed. Had that smirk been nicer than usual? "Unicorn hair… it's the same color as yours…"

Malfoy looked up at me with semi wide eyes. He then scowled at me and looked back at the book.

I smiled slightly. Okay, he's cute… for a prick.

I looked over his shoulder, wanting to help out more. I reached for the next ingredient, but bumped hands with Malfoy. He looked up at me in surprise, looking completely shocked.

_**Now's your moment**_

_**Looking into his eyes like a silver lagoon**_

_**Boy you better do it soon**_

_**No time will be better**_

_**Ya, ya, ya, ya, ya**_

It would seem like the right moment if it wasn't Malfoy. I slid back a bit and looked away. No way was I going to kiss Malfoy, no way. But I wonder… why isn't he talking? He was fine before I went to get the ingredients.

_**And he won't say a word**_

_**Not a single word**_

_**Until you kiss the boy**_

I'm starting to suspect that Sebastian had something to do with this. Maybe some of his crab magic is behind it? So… I have to kiss Malfoy to get him to talk? That's freaking unfair! I won't do it!

_**Sha-la-la-la-la-la**_

_**Don't be scared**_

_**You had the mood prepared**_

_**Go on and kiss the boy**_

No you crusty crustation! I will not! A boy kissing a boy is not right I tell you! I look back to Malfoy and bite my lip. Ugh! It's not right! Even if he's cute!

_**Sha-la-la-la-la-la**_

_**Don't stop now**_

Stop what?! I'm not doing anything! Leave me alone!

_**Don't try to hide it how**_

_**You wanna kiss the boy**_

Grah! No I tell you! I already said he was cute! What more do you want besides a kiss?!

_**Sha-la-la-la-la-la**_

_**Float along **_

_**Listen to the song**_

_**The song say kiss the boy**_

I don't want to listen to the fucking song! I want you gone and out of my head!

_**Sha-la-la-la-la-la**_

_**Music play**_

_**Do what the music say**_

_**You wanna kiss the boy**_

I won't and I don't! Go away!

_**You've got to kiss the boy**_

No I don't! You're not the boss of me!

_**Why don't you kiss the boy**_

Because it's wrong?! How about that?!

_**You gotta kiss the boy**_

I gave you a reply to that already!

_**Go on and kiss the boy**_

NO!

The bell rang at that moment, and I rushed out of the class, need desperately to get away from that fucking crab! And Malfoy!

**Yay! First chappy done! I accept flamers, since this is my first song fic and Harry Potter fic!**


	2. Honeybunch the little girl one

**Chapter 2: Honeybunch(the kid version!)**

I panted heavily as I sat on the cool floor of the men's loo. God, what had happened back there? First those muses, and then the crab? That's just wrong! I rubbed my face and groaned lightly.

I blinked when I heard music, muggle music at that, outside. I cautiously opened the door slightly. There's a lot of kids running around, singing their hearts out, some very out of tune I might add, and these little miniature figures are following them and playing music while they sing… they seem not to notice the little buggers.

….Ho-kay. I'm in singin' country now. I'm sure I'll be alright! I have been dealing with Voldemort for pretty much my whole life.

**Forty Minutes Later…**

I burst into Dumbledore's office, sweat pouring down my face. 'Shite! How many more people are going to take my hands and start dancing!?'

"Headmaster! I-" my eyes widened as I saw Dumbledore looking fondly at a picture of Professer Mcgonagal.

"Oh Minerva." He sighed, making me shudder. "Do you know what you are to me? Well, I do." I watched in pure horror as a little miniature girl of three popped onto his shoulder, smiling cutely.

A eerily cute music came on. Oh no… I remember Dudley forcing me to listen to this over and over again just to try to drive me insane!

Dumbledore gazed, oh barf, _lovingly_ at the picture before singing,

"**You're my honeybunch, sugar plum, pumpy umpy umpkin, you're my sweety pie." **In an old and scratchy voice while caressing the picture's cheek, which looked very frightened.

Oh God… This… this is horrible.

"**You're my cuppy cake, gum drop, shnoogums, boogums, boor, the apple of my eye." **He stood up, picture in hand, and twirled around in circles, the little miniature three year old giggling as she followed.

"**And I looove you so. And I want you to know, that I'll always be right here." **Dumbledore then stopped and pointed at the picture and throwing the pointing hand into the air expressively, before putting a hand on his chest.

"**And I looove to sing, songs to you. Because. You. Are. Soooo. Deeear." **Oh shite no! Don't tell me he's… Le Gods! He just bloody _kissed_ the picture! Why lord why?! Oh man this is almost disgusting enough to make me want to join the dark side!

The creepy little three year old giggled and disappeared in a puff of smoke. Dumbledore blinked and looked around.

"… What am I doing standing in the middle of my room?" he said aloud, before looking to me in surprise. "Harry! My boy! What are you doing here? And can you tell me what happened?"

My eye twitched as the whole thing re-played in my head. "… You… Sing… Disturbed…" I muttered, sure that my eye was twitching noticeably by now since Dumbledore looked very worried.

"My boy? What-"

"I AM SCARRED FOR LIFE!!" I shrieked, rushing out of Dumbledore's office in a rush. God I hate my life!

**My God I laughed so many times while writing this! Please, I need five reviews! I'll give you a cookie!**

**Dumbledore: No one's told me what happened though!**

**Well… let's just say you lived out your life long dream…**

**Dumbledore: -eyes sparkle annoyingly- You mean making talking lemon drops?!**

**O.O … Erm… no. The **_**other**_** dream**

**Dumbledore:… Oh! You mean singing for no apparent reason and scarring some innocent bystander for life?**

**Yeah!**

**Dumbledore: Yipeeeeee!**

**Yay! –Gives Dumbly a lemon drop-**


	3. Anything James Can Do

Chapter 3: Anything James Can Do Snape Can Do Better

**Chapter 3: Anything James Can Do Snape Can Do Better**

Must run! Must escape the wrath of a singing Dumbly! Oh my God is following me?! OH FUCK PLEASE TELL ME HE'S NOT!! I look over my shoulder. Oh, ok… Nope, he's not… Phew! That's good! Now, for a hiding spot!

Girls Bathroom?... Tempting, but no.

Boy's Bathroom? Myrtle will probably be there… yuck…

Err… Oh! That classroom door that is open and I should really be warry of but I'm too bloody frightened right now to realize it! Yeah!

I ducked into the class and sighed, leaning against the closed door.

"Ah! Mr. Potter." Fuck. It's the Professor that keeps saying I'm going to die soon… "You, can participate in this since you're here, we're looking back into our parent's pasts, to see one of the most embarrassing, or most embarrassing as we can all manage, and project in up as if it were real life!"

"… Why didn't we use that when I took this class?"

"Because, I don't have a schedule! I'm insane, REMEMBER?!" she shrieked, making the students cower. She suddenly smiled and pushed Harry up to the front. "You will be going first, Mr. Potter."

"But I-"

"DO IT!!"

"A-alright alright… What do I do?"

"Just ask for the most embarrassing moment of one of your parents you idiot!"

I looked down to the crystal ball and worried my lip. It was a rare opportunity to really see anything that happened with his Mom and Dad when they were younger…

"I'd like to see my Father's most embarrassing moment."

Suddenly, the crystal turned bright red with smatterings of gold, before two figures were projected in front of the class, who 'ooed' and 'awed', along with the Professor…

_ "Alright everyone! Next up is James Potter-"_

_ "Hold on, ONE minute!" Snape stomped onto the stage, wearing a James Bond outfit, fuming. "Why does POTTER get to go first?! He applied last minute!"_

_ "You're just jealous, Snape!" James spat as he walked up, wearing a simple tux, smirking. "Face it! You're afraid you'll be shown up by me! A real man!"_

_ "As if, Potter! You're the farthest thing from a man! I mean, you look like a girl!"_

_James gasped, eyes widening, the students in the audience 'oooh' ing._

_ "I do not, you greasy git!"_

_ "I'll prove it! Galarania Susania!" he chanted, pointing his wand at James and transforming his tux into an evening ball dress, his hair does in pig tails. All of the boys drooled, while the girls squealed, while Snape snickered, and James fumed._

_ "You BASTARD! I challenge you to a sing-off, you bloody wanker!"_

_ "Fine, __**Madame**__. What song?"_

_ "Anything You Can Do!"_

_ "I call the boy." Snape said calmly._

_ "Damn! Alright1 Start it!" As the music started, James took out the bands and ruffled his hair once more, not having enough time to change his outfit back before the song started._

_**Aaanythang, you could do, I could do BETTER**__ James started, smirking and pointing at Snape._

_**HA!**__ Laughed Snape._

_**I can do anything, better than you.**__ James sang, crossing his arms and looking away, with a confident look on his face._

_**No you can't.**__ Snape shrugged, looking away with disinterest._

_**Yes I can. **__James looked over his shoulder, his gaze knowing._

_**No you can't.**__ Snape frowned, taking a step closer to James._

_**Yes I can.**__ James tucked his arms behind his head and chuckled._

_**No you can't.**__ Snape glared, his fists clenching in irritation/_

_**Yes I caaan, yes I caaaaan!**__ James laid a hand on his chest and sang out, loud and clear, inwardly smirking._

_**Anything you can be,**_

_**I can be greater, **_

_**Sooner or laaater I'm greater than you.**__ (blerg… So… tired… It's 4:15 am. The moves are at this address: http : / www . youtube . com / watch ? v dnfzc BNV4Jc_

_Take out the spaces! But! I am doing the moves for the last part! It's very important!)_

_**No you're not.**_

_**Yees I am.**_

_**Noo you're not.**_

_**Yes I am.**_

_**NO you're NOT!**_

_**Yes I aaam, yes I aaaaam!**_

_**I could get a partridge, with a single cartridge!**_

_**I can get a sparrow, with a bow and arrow!**_

_**I . Can. Live. On bread and cheese…**_

_** "And only on that?"**_

___**"Yeeeep!"**_

_** "So can a rat…"**_

_**Any note you can sing, I can sing higher**_

_**I can sing any note higher than you.**_

_**No you can't.**_

_**Yes I can.**_

_**No you can't!**_

_**Yes I caaan!**_

_**No you CAN'T!**_

_**Yes I caaaan!**_

_**No you caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan't!**_

_**Yes I &big intake& CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!**_

___**"How DO you sing that high?"**_

_** "I'm a GIRL!"**_

_**Anything you san say, I can say softer…**_

_**I can say anything softer than you.**_

_**No you can't…**_

_**Yes I cAn…**_

_**No you can't…**_

_**Yes I c-an…**_

_**No you can't…**_

_**Yes I can-YES I CAN!!**_

_**I can drink my liquor,**_

_**Faster than a flicker!**_

_**I can drink it quicker,**_

_**And get even sicker!**_

_**I. Can. Open any safe.**_

_** "Without being caught?"**_

___**"Ch'ou bet!"**_

_** "That's what I thought ya crook…"**_

_**Any note you can hold, I can hold longer!**_

_**I can hold any note longer than you!**_

_**No you can't.**_

_**Yes I can.**_

_**No you can't.**_

_**Yes I can.**_

_**No you caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-**_

_**Yes I caaan! Yes IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-**_

_**IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII- can!**_

_**Yes you CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! "Where do you keep all that air?"**_

_** "Ugh…"**_

___**"Oh…"**_

_**Anything you can say, I can say faster!**_

_**I can say anything faster than you!**_

_**JIBBER**_

_**I can jump a hurdle!**_

_**I can wear a girdle!**_

_**I can knit a sweater!**_

_**I can fill it better!**_

_**I. Can. Do. Most. Any-thing!**_

_** "Can you bake a pie?"**_

___**"No…"**_

_** "Neither, can I."**_

_**Any note you can sing, I can sing sweeter.**__ Snape inwardly gulped, knowing that this was the most awkward part._

_**I can sing anything, sweeter than you…**__ James inwardly nodded, mentally preparing himself for what was to come…_

… _**Nooo, yoou caaaan't…**__ Snape walked close to James showing that he was slightly taller, looking down into Jame's eyes hidden behind his glasses._

_**Yeees, IIIII ca-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaaan…**__ James fluttered his lashes and leaning into Snape, giving him a coy smile, which caused the other to blush slightly, causing confusion for James._

_**Noooo, yoooou ca-ah-ah-hah-ah-ahN'T.**__ Snape mentally shook his head and disposed of the blush before he raised a finger and shook it in the Gryffindor's face._

_**Yyyyees IIIIII caaaaaaaaaan…**__ One had to wonder how James could sing that high, his testicles had dropped already… right? Anyway, James felt a light blush of exertion spread over his cheeks, his breaths growing slightly wet with the effort of singing in a girly voice._

_**Noooooooo, you can't…**__ Snape blinked at the look decending on Potter's face, and continued as he was supposed to. He let a hand grace Potter's silken cheek carefully._

_**Yyeees IIII caaaan-**__ James felt his heart skip a beat, though he wasn't sure why, when he was touched by his nemesis, his palm rough, though warm against his own skin._

_**Noooo, you can't!**__ The hand moved down to tilt Potter's chin up so that they were truly looking into each other's eyes, his finger caressing smoothly, a pink blush lining Snape's cheeks, his eyes glazed_

_**Oooooh, yes I caaaaaan…**__ James's lid drooped as he looked up into Snape's eyes, the other's pleasant breath brushing over his lips, his own cheeks dusted a gentle rose._

_**No you can't, Can't, CAN'T!**__ Snape let his other arm come to wrap around Potter's waist, his fingers gripping the silky, black fabric._

_**Oooh yes I can, Can, Caaaaan!**__ James's fingers clutched the front of Snape's tux, his other arm rapping around his neck._

_**Yes./No**_

_**I./You**_

_**CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!/CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN'T!**__ Snape went in for the kill, and kissed James Potter in front of the whole Great Hall, the uke in the situation not seeming to mind the least bit._

_Suddenly, James was swooped away from Snape and into Remus's arms, who was glaring at the confused boy now standing alone._

_ "Don't touch him! I can't believe you! You defiled him!" he cried out, gesturing to the dazed and giddy boy in his arms. "You molested him!"_

silence rang through out the room as the projection turned off. The only sound that could be heard was the solid thump of one Harry James Potter falling unconscious.

**Yeah! Sorry about that, but I just HAD to! Blerg… It's 4:54 in the morning right now… Nighty, night… ZZZZZZZ**


	4. Random

Alright you guys, you may be wondering why I haven't been updating? Weeeelll... I'm STUCK. Yeah... So, I need all your guyz'z help with this if you ever want this updated peoplez! So post ideas! 


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